


Is This What It Feels Like to Really Cry?

by marvelfan2008



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Could probably be rated general, F/M, Hydra (Marvel), Love, Mild Language, Miscarriage, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Rated teen just to be safe, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 23:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18456413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelfan2008/pseuds/marvelfan2008
Summary: Darcy and Steve are engaged and couldn't be happier. While Steve is away leading a mission, Darcy begins to notice some surprising symptoms. With the help of her BFF, Jane, she goes to the pharmacy and is met by some unfortunate people on their way back.





	Is This What It Feels Like to Really Cry?

**Author's Note:**

> *This story contains discussion of a miscarriage. It is not graphic, but if that upsets you, I am sorry. I am also sorry if any of you are struggling with the pain of a miscarriage or loss of a baby <3*
> 
> This is also my first fanfic every! Ahhh! I have been reading so many of your wonderful fics and I was inspired to try myself. Please be kind!
> 
> Title is from the Kelly Clarkson song, "Cry". It's a really great song, so check it out! Lea Michele also did a wonderful cover of this during the third season of Glee.

Darcy Lewis had been feeling like crap all morning. Scratch that, the past several mornings. She woke up feeling nauseous and tired, like she could fall back asleep at any moment. Jane had found her sleeping at her desk in their lad at Avengers Tower more than once this past week. And these past two mornings, Darcy had found herself with her head in a toilet bowl puking her guts out. She could Jane was concerned about her best friend and had threatened to call Darcy’s fiancé, Steve Rogers, more than once this past week since he left for a mission in Belarus with Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, the semi-retired Clint Barton, and Vision. It was usual to not take all of the Avengers on a mission so as to keep some in the tower in case something comes up. Currently, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Tony Stark, Thor (Jane’s fiancé), and the newly healed Pietro Maximoff (twin brother of Wanda) were there as well as several former trusted SHIELD agents and former SHIELD assistant director, Maria HIll, and Director Nick Fury.

Darcy met Steve over a year ago. He had come to the tower after the fall of SHIELD to find his long lost friend, Bucky Barnes, with technology from Tony. Dary was surprised Tony had agreed to help since he learned that Barnes was most likely the one who killed his parents. However, Tony recognized that it was HYDRA who killed his parents, not Bucky, who was just a victim in his 70 years as their Soldat. Not many knew that Darcy was a computer genius and, while she was studying political science at Culver, her true talents lie in computer hacking, data mining, and all other sorts of crap that can be done on computers. Darcy wholeheartedly agreed to help Steve find his friend using her skills and was more than willing to act as emotional support/shoulder to cry on if needed. 

It wasn’t long after they started working together that Darcy realized she had feelings for the super soldier. Under normal circumstances, Darcy Lewis was a straight shooter, no bullshit kinda girl. If she like a guy, she would come right out and say it. But, she was so unsure about Steve’s feelings for her. She knew he was her friend and, despite what Tony might think, was not the innocent “aww shucks, ma’am” person everyone believed him to be. Steve was witty, sarcastic, and had an irreverent sense of humor, just like her. Eventually, with a shot of liquid courage (aka tequila), Darcy worked up the confidence to Steve how she felt and was surprised to learn that Steve felt the same way, but was unsure how to bring it up. They went out to dinner one night for their first date, and the rest, as they say, was history.

After the whole Ultron debacle (which Darcy missed due to being in Germany with Jane at a conference), finding Bucky in an old, rundown apartment in Bucharest of all places, and bringing him home, Steve decided to ask Darcy to marry him on their one year anniversary. Steve tried to arrange this elaborate boat ride in Central Park and a romantic dinner at the place they went for their first date, but when the day came, Darcy had come down with a case of food poisoning from some bad lettuce (she knew she shouldn’t eat vegetables). Darcy went to the medical wing that night and was in the hospital for two days. The day she and Steve returned to their apartment, she found so many candles lit in their living room, rose petals laid out to spell, “Will you marry me?”, and DUM-E there with a fire extinguisher in case something went wrong. Apparently, several Avengers had helped set this up when Darcy was in the hospital. Naturally, she said yes and was not proud to admit that she was crying the entire time. Not just beautiful perfect tears, but a full-on, snot producing cry. 

That was two weeks ago and Darcy was still in shock. Wanda had brought her several wedding magazines and Tony had the Plaza on standby for the wedding. Darcy and Steve had already decided that they wanted the wedding to be small since neither one had any family left and it would most likely just be their friends. Natasha and Pepper were practically living on Pinterest looking up wedding pics.

As Dr. Foster walked in the lab, she noticed Darcy looked run down and tired. She asked, “How are you feeling today?”

“Like death,” Darcy answered with her head in her arms, leaning on the desk. She had gotten sick three times that morning and was exhausted. Also, she noticed as she was getting dressed that her breasts were really sensitive. That, along with the killer headache, made Darcy believe that it was her time of the month in the next few days. The more she thought about it, she realized that she was late. As in almost two weeks late. “Oh shit!” she shouted taking her head off the deak.

Jane turned to her friend with a questioning look. She asked, “What is it, Darce?”

“Janey, I’m late,” Darcy said. It took Jane a moment or two to process what her best friend had said, but Darcy could tell the moment it hit her. There was a chance Darcy could be pregnant. 

“Ok, ok, let’s not freak out,” Jane said as she walked over to Darcy and rubbed soothing circles along her back, “We don’t know anything for sure. We’ll go to the pharmacy down the street and buy a test. Or five just to be certain, because, scientifically…”

“Jane, I love you, but would please not give me a lesson the scientific method right now!” Darcy shouted. She felt bad for yelling at Jane, but she was freaking out. She wondered how this could have happened. Her and Steve always used protection, but then she realized that Dr. Cho had replaced her contraceptive implant about two months ago. Darcy knew she had to use condoms for the following month or so and she was almost certain she and her fiance had done so. Maybe a condom broke. Or she was that one percent the ads were always warning you about on TV. Or like how on FRIENDS, the condoms weren’t always 100% effective, which they should really put on the box. Regardless, Darcy knew she had to get to the bottom of this, no matter how scared she was. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane and Darcy walked the two blocks to the pharmacy and bought five different brands of pregnancy tests. It was around two in the afternoon, so most people were still in work and finished with their lunch break. When they were about a block from the Tower, Darcy felt the hairs on the back of her neck stick up and discreetly looked behind her shoulder. She saw two men dressed all in black following them. Darcy looked up and saw another two men coming at them dressed in black as well. She also saw a nondescript black van parked on the van. Jeez, these HYDRA goons needed to start getting more creative in their kidnaping attempts. “Don’t look, Janey, but I think we’re being followed,” Darcy whispered. 

Jane got her phone out of her pocket and hit the panic button that Stark had installed on all of their phones to alert the Avengers that something was wrong, but also do it carefully so as not to make it obvious they were calling for help. “There’s probably some more in the van,” Jane said quietly. 

Much to everyone’s surprise (including her own), Darcy was surprising decent at hand to hand combat. She knew how to use a bow and shot gun from all the hunting she did with her grandpa growing up. Unfortunately, she had neither of those weapons with her right now. She did have a pocket knife, which she kept on her person at all times at Steve’s insistence as well as her handy, dandy taser that, “fell a god” (Thor’s words). Tony made some upgrades, of course, so the taser did not need to be recharges for a while and could be used multiple times on multiple people.

The goons immediately went for both Jane and herself, which wasn’t surprising since they were both worker for and were in relationships with Avengers. Darcy saw both men coming forward had syringes filled with some chemical that would most likely sedate both women. Darcy got the one coming towards Jane with her taser and he fell to the ground. Darcy also managed to surprise the other man with the pocket knife by slicing his arm, causing him to drop the needle.

To her left, she saw men getting out of the van, realizing this was not going to be some easy kidnap. Darcy could see the worry in her bff’s eyes. Unlike Darcy, Jane had zero skills in self-defense, but did manage to take out one of the guards coming from behind them. Darcy felt the guard try to grab her from behind, but she was able to throw his weight over her shoulder in a move that would’ve made mama widow proud. However, she did not notice that had manager to sedate Jane and they were pulling her into the van. One soldier (a woman, which surprised Darcy, but hey, at least secret evil organizations have made strides in terms of equality), was able to slice Darcy’s arm, causing her to loosen her grip on the man on the ground.

Darcy suddenly felt a pain in her lower stomach and back. If felt like the worse menstrual cramps of her life (and Darcy has had some pretty bad ones). The pain became excruciating and distracted Darcy when she felt something jabbed into her neck. She immediately felt woozy and started to drop. Before she completely blacked out, Darcy saw the Iron Man suit approaching and heard thunder clap in the sky. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Darcy awoke to sound of beeping and the strong smell of cleaners. She also felt a weight on her hand. She was very groggy and had trouble focusing (thanks HYDRA goons for breaking her glasses), but she could make out a tall, muscular body and the distinct red, white, and blue suit.

Her Steve was next to her. By the looks (and smell), she guessed Steve didn’t take a shower or change after a mission. Darcy could tell it was dark outside and the hospital wing in the tower was quiet. Darcy squeezed Steve’s hand, rousing Steve from his sleep.

“Sweetheart,” her fiance said groggily. A second later, Steve realized that Darcy was awake and pulled her hand that he was holding up to his lips and pressed a long kiss to the back. Using his other hand, Steve gently moved the hair out of Darcy’s face. Softly, Steve asked, “How are you? Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse?”

Darcy shook her head as Steve handed her a spare pair of glasses from her apartment. That’s when he noticed the tears in his eyes as well as the tracks that trailed down his face through the dust and dirt. It was obvious he had been crying. Why was he crying? She wasn’t hurt very badly (she felt a slight twinge in her arm where she figured the doctor had stitched up the cut) and she felt the drugs beginning to where off. She was more worried about Jane than her. Oh my god, Jane! “Where’s Jane? Did they get her?”, Darcy said trying to get up.

Steve put a hand on her shoulder and said, “She’s fine. Thor’s with her. Just some cuts and bruises. She went to her apartment after the doctors made sure most of the sedative was out of her system”. Darcy relaxed realizing her friend was safe. “How long was I out,” Darcy asked.

“About eight hours. It’s after ten at night,” Steve answered. She could tell something was upsetting Steve. Darcy became worried that something happened on the mission.

“What’s going on, Steve? Is everyone okay?” Darcy asked trying to keep the panic in check.

“Darcy,” he said, the pain evident in his voice, “everyone’s fine. Mission was successful. But I have to tell you, getting that call on the jet heading back was the scariest moment of my life, including crashing a plane into the ocean. Tony called and said HYDRA attempted to kidnap you and that you were shot. There was a lot of blood. However, you weren’t shot and passed out. Pietro saw you dropped a bag during the scuffle,” and Steve pulled out the unused pregnancy tests.

Darcy has no idea how she figured out, but she did. Immediately, tears welled up in her eyes and she didn’t even try to stop them. She tried to ask Steve if she was pregnant, but the words wouldn’t come out. Instead, a sob tore through her. Steve was up in a flash and crawled into the narrow bed with his fiance. He held her and tried to comfort her, but he knew there were no words of comfort he could offer that could ease Darcy’s pain. 

Darcy was so conflicted when she found out she was pregnant. She was not ready for a baby, but she knew Steve would have been very supportive and been with her every step of the way. Slowly, her sobs quieted and she was able to squeak out, “I was pregnant, wasn’t I?”

She heard Steve whisper, “Yes. The doctors think it couldn’t have been more than six weeks. Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here to protect you. This is all my fault.” She heard Steve’s breath hitch and felt him trying to stop his sobs.  
“No, Stevie, it’s not your fault. It’s was damn HYDRA. Or, or it could have been no one’s fault. Sometimes, these things just happen,” Darcy answered, holding onto Steve’s arm while they both cried over what could have been.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two years later…

It had been a rough few weeks after the HYDRA attacks. Both Darcy and Steve struggled to come to grips with the miscarriage. Both felt blame and felt bad that the other person was in so much pain. However, thanks to time, love, and counseling, both were able to accept what had happened and continue on with planning their wedding. Both decided that they didn’t want to wait and wanted to be married as soon as possible. 

And less than three months later, that’s what they did. During the height of fall when the trees were beautiful shades of red, yellow, and orange, Darcy Lewis became Darcy Rogers. They had decided on a quiet, small wedding out in the Catskills at Tony’s mountain house in front of their close friends and fellow Avengers. 

Nearly two years to the day of the attempted kidnapping, on a day in late July, Darcy and Steve welcomed Caroline Sarah Rogers into the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think in the comments. I welcome constructive criticism, but please be gentle!


End file.
